Life Coach's Are Rats (by Rick London c2009) Sung to Al Stewart's “Year Of The Cat”

For my  DF/Love Lee Hiller

Good Kitty

On the morning of a life coach program the entrance fee is free,

The jest of the speech is material accumulation and a myriad of slime,

At the end of the program $5000 packaged programs and you’re sorry,

Feeling an accessory to a crime.

She comes out from backstage with fake Rolex so stunning,

Thinking the audience has no brains,

Then she wonders why on Twitter that she shunned,

She’ll mutter something about Newton’s inertia reference frame,

But she smells like a rat.

She only has a sec for questions,

And prefers Mastercard or bank transfers,

She counts on you to be dense with no direction,

Till your bank balance disappears.

You later find better advice on public bathroom stalls,

And you realize like so many others you’ve been screwed,

The BS was so thick you could cut it with a knife,

So you sip another brew,

Cheers to the year of the rat.

Well she counts her cash so cruely,

Smiling like another Macy’s shopping spree,

Your migraine now is grueling,

So you tweet her, but her only answer is snide,

I can’t help being a rat.

Well the morning comes and you’d like to believe her,

But the bozos on that bus are gone.

You’d like to form a group and start a line of pickets,

But the life coach took all their funds.

Lots Are Becoming Life Coaches Yes Even Danny Bonaduci

You try to think back at a filthier stain,

But the life coach leaves a permanent decay,

Repackaged ancient wisdom is the game she lives for.

They make Michael Madoff seem okay,

To a life coach you’re a doormat.

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Rick London is a writer, designer and cartoonist. He founded and creates Londons Times Cartoons, the nets #1 ranked offbeat cartoon. He launched Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes which have been featured in media worldwide. He has written over 650 published magazine articles and is brand designer for Mariel Hemingway Healthy Gifts.  His funny gift stores contain over 70,000 funny tees funny mugsand other funny gifts such as LT Superstore and Rick London Collection.

[Via http://ricklondonmusic.wordpress.com]